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Sunday 20 October 2013

Teen Age Girl's Self-Esteem - What Causes Its Nosedive?

By Antonio G. Clerk


Does your self esteem wavor when you see apparently flawless females? Women and girls often get the brunt of air brushed media images. Does just looking at those perfect models make you want to sink even further into the proverbial bed?Or perhaps you avoid any media comparison, and yet still experience low self esteem from the messages you picked up in the family environment. Did your parents want a girl? did they value you? We're you an awkward teenager? Are you a stressed out mum that puts herself and her needs last? Are you a manager that let's her colleagues dump their extra workload on to her?

Still, it does matter to what extent we are confident about the talents or abilities we have. Why not consider these things mentioned below for understanding the internal as well as external pressures most girls are faced with? Also let's learn how such pressures affect or influence the growth of their valuable self-esteem,Eating disorders, lower self-esteem, or depression is among the common emotional health problems among girls.59% of the 5th to 11th grade girls are dissatisfied with the body shape the have. A recent survey revealed this fact.Around 20% to 40% of typical girls start dieting as soon as they turn 10.By the time they turn 15, most girls are 200% as likely to get depressed compared to the boys.Among 5th to 11th grader girls, around 47% commented that they prefer losing weight being inspired by magazine pictures.

Health risks are coupled with most girls' dip in their self-esteem because of dangerous eating habits, despair, as well as unwanted pregnancy.Girls who are 10 or 12 are occasionally confronted with various "teen" issues like dating or sex, at an alarmingly earlier age. Almost 73 percent of the 8 to 12-year old girls dress more like thriving teens and even talk much like teens.When or why do girls' self-esteem dip?When the pre-teen years start, girls experience a total shift in their focus; and their bodies turn into some sort of all consuming passion-machine, which is much like a meter of self-worth.Self-esteem turns very closely tied to many physical attributes that most girls feel they're unable to gauge in respect of their society standards.Between 5th or 9th grade, most gifted girls perceive that smarts are not really sexy, and keep hiding their accomplishments.

You may need to spend more time with your young lady. It does not have to cost a lot of money. Maybe you can walk together in the evenings. Walking is great exercise and it gives you the chance for some one on one conversation. Simply tell her that you need to start walking and you would like to have some company when you walk. Do not insinuate that the walking is for her benefit. Simply tell her that you need a walking buddy.When building self esteem in teenage girls try learning something new with her. Maybe you want to study a foreign language or learn how to play chess. The time together can be very therapeutic for both of you.

Be spiritually aware by developing your connection to what you believe in. Take time to relax in nature and re-charge your batteries. Nurture your soul with beauty, peace and love.Putting your needs first is not an act of selfishness, but rather healthy self love and respect. When a woman puts her needs first, she commands respect and appreciation. If you have old patterns of giving in, thinking about the needs of others, denying yourself any fun and pleasure - did those feelings make you feel good? Did you feel resentful and unappreciated?When you give to yourself, you do only feed your spirit, but you fill the reservoirs of your love and in doing so you can love others too.

It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.

I see these challenges in my peers all the time. So, what is a major source of this low self-esteem? It's actually negative self-talk. That's right, we have found the "enemy" and that enemy is the "Mental Me". It is the voice in our head that is critical and always comparing and judging.It is also the voice that may have come from external "mean girls" that we encountered early in life. I managed to avoid a lot of external mean girl voices, as I grew up in an environment that cultivated my aggressive side, so most girls did not mess with me. However, I was my worse critic.

It is very important for you to work together with your daughter's teachers and mentors to help her become proud of her uniqueness, personality and strengths. If she receives mixed messages or regular discouraging criticism, it may result in confusion or an identity crisis.Secondly, support your daughter to master self-control and problem solving skills. It is critical that she learns the art of taking responsibility for the decisions she makes. She must be supported to be creative, empathic and courageous as she becomes independent and accountable for the choices she makes.

It can be helpful to replay situations with her and ask: "What might have happened if you had made a different decision?" and "If a situation like this happens again, how are you going to handle it?" Thirdly, encourage your daughter to be generous to others. This could be by being trustworthy, or by offering her time, ideas or friendship. When girls learn to be generous they start to realise that they can influence others positively. It helps them become more mindful of others and increasingly self-confident as people thank them for their generosity and kindness.When teenage girls are supported to cultivate an internal appreciation for themselves and others, they begin to feel motivated and confident. That is why a positive and strong identity, good problem solving skills and an ability to be generous promote girls' sense of gratitude and purpose.




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