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Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Self Esteem And Self Confidence

By James W. Lopes


People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

Having lived without a lot of Self-Confidence in my younger years, I can tell you - Life is MUCH better with it. Self-Confidence opens doors. It allows you to live fully, to get in the game, to play full out. With Self-Confidence, you apply for the promotion, start the business, say YES to opportunities. With Self-Confidence, life is richer and fuller and a whole lot more FUN!

There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is.Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don't worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

Self-Confidence - like everything else - is a choice. You can CHOOSE to be more Self-Confident. At those times when you feel insecure, uncertain, or powerless, remind yourself that you're in charge and you can choose how you feel. You can choose to feel self-assured, certain, decisive, and positive. Here are seven ways to adopt an attitude of Self-Confidence:

By learning to consciously cultivate these attitudes you can learn to be confident. Like building muscles, you systematically, purposefully build confidence in yourself until you learn to rely on yourself without hesitation. Building self confidence is a cycle that can either serve you or break you down even further. The self confidence-cycle is self reinforcing - the more you act on your doubts, the more confidence you build and the more confidence you have the easier it is to just do it with certainty, the more you are willing to do...and the cycle continues.

Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim.In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can't do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.

In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don't get it they end up losing their self-confidence.What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person's beauty or looks. It flows from a person's self-belief, and this belief can be built.All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self- confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.




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