All of us owe something to someone. When positive influences have made our lives better, we should be grateful. But gifts should be freely given and allowed to be freely accepted. Receiving a favor should not mean that we incur a debt to be paid. This expectation can turn happy thankfulness into 'the burden of gratitude.'
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
We can also feel two or more emotions at once. These are well termed 'mixed feelings'. We can be really thankful while also feeling imposed upon or even violated. In that case, we may wish the whole experience had never happened.
Maybe a parent has done something especially generous. Perhaps a coworker has praised us to a manager or selected us for a task force. This is fine if the gesture is sincere, freely given, and final. If something is demanded in return, now or later, then we may decide the price is too big to pay or that the 'gift' is a booby trap.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
If a fellow employee does us a favor, he or she may have a right to expect something in return. If their expectations are reasonable, an exchange of favors can strengthen the working relationship. However, if the coworker demands silence about improper procedures or wants a unearned commendation, this makes the 'debt' we owe onerous and maybe even dangerous.
Sometimes we may not even feel grateful in the first place. However, we have to work well with others if at all possible. A positive gesture on the part of another calls for some reaction. A thank you note, more regular visits to a parent, remembering to pray for someone, or deciding to 'pay it forward' are all suitable reactions. You may have to work through your own feelings of resentment or suspicion; allowing someone else to disrupt your tranquility is silly.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
We can also feel two or more emotions at once. These are well termed 'mixed feelings'. We can be really thankful while also feeling imposed upon or even violated. In that case, we may wish the whole experience had never happened.
Maybe a parent has done something especially generous. Perhaps a coworker has praised us to a manager or selected us for a task force. This is fine if the gesture is sincere, freely given, and final. If something is demanded in return, now or later, then we may decide the price is too big to pay or that the 'gift' is a booby trap.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
If a fellow employee does us a favor, he or she may have a right to expect something in return. If their expectations are reasonable, an exchange of favors can strengthen the working relationship. However, if the coworker demands silence about improper procedures or wants a unearned commendation, this makes the 'debt' we owe onerous and maybe even dangerous.
Sometimes we may not even feel grateful in the first place. However, we have to work well with others if at all possible. A positive gesture on the part of another calls for some reaction. A thank you note, more regular visits to a parent, remembering to pray for someone, or deciding to 'pay it forward' are all suitable reactions. You may have to work through your own feelings of resentment or suspicion; allowing someone else to disrupt your tranquility is silly.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
About the Author:
When you are searching for information about the burden of gratitude, visit the web pages online today. More details are available at http://belaabel.com now.
No comments:
Post a Comment